A bachelor gives an AD in a matrimonial.
"Wanted - Girl Age no bar, looks no bar, Money no bar, But SEX Baar-baar, Hazaar bar...... Lagataar....! Mr Elahi had 3 sons named Rehmet-e-Elahi, Brkat-e-Elahi, n Mehbub-e-Elahi.
When his 4th son was born his wife decided to name him Bus-Kar-e-Eelahi
Kaho Santa ji suhaag raat kaisi rahi?
Kuch mat pooocho yaar! Pehle 5-6 baar to missed call lagi aur jab sahi number laga to balance nil ho gya?
Man: Doc mera khada nahi hota hai. Doc: R u married? NO. Do u hv a g/f? NO. Do u go to prostitutes? NO. Doc: To khada karke kya calander tangega?
Father: Tell me the name of the bastard who made u pregnant?
Daughter: Daddy if u eat fifteen bananas, can u tell which one made u fat?
Condom to whisper: Bloody every month u stop my business for one week.
Whisper: If u make a mistake I lose my business for 9 months.
Jab tumahara rape hua to tumne kya mehsoos kiya?
Girl: Ladoo agar zabardasti khilaya jaye to bhi lagta to meetha he hai
A newly married girl got first class in her B.Ed exams. Her husband sent telegram to her parents - Meena First Class in Bed!
Common statements by girls after the exam & the wedding night: Thoda Mushkil tha lekin Achcha tha, Kaafi lamba bhi tha, Thak gayee, Aata tha lekin theek se kar nahin paayi
Man: Mistriji, bed majboot banana, mere bete ko bahu ke saath sona hai.
Mistri: Aisa majboot banaunga ki saara mohalla Bahu ke saath soye to bhi nahin tootega
What's the difference between Patiala Peg n Patiala Salwar?
Ek chadti jaldi hai aur ek utarti jaldi hai.
Dear subscriber ur sex balance is low. Ur account will be put into virginity mode so please refuck as soon as possible to keep ur account open.
Ladies hostel warden calls electricity office & complains: Aaj to aadmi bhej do, ladkiyan 3 din se mombatti se kaam chala rahi hain
Why do pubic hair never grey and hair on head turn grey? Because utte sochan hi sochan te thale moujan hi moujan
Kissing is a habit, Making love is a GAME,
Guys get pleasure, Gals get pain!
He says love u & she believes it's TRUE,
But wen tummy gets bigger, he say 'Hell to U'
Woman: Doc saab mujhe thode din bachcha nahin chahiye.
Doc: Yeh Condom Le Lo.
Woman: Ye pani ke saath loon ya doodh ke saath.
Doc: Kele ke saath
Gals: Inspector ji Munde tang karde ne.
Boys: Eh ilzaam jootha hai Inspector saab, assin tang nai karde, khulli karde ne
A boy & gal of LKG class asked teacher: Kya chote baccho ke bacche ho sakte hai?
Teacher: No.
Boy said to gal: Bas dekha! Tu aise hi dar rahi thi
When an apple is green, it is ready to pluck and when a girl is 18 she is ready to... VOTE. Hamesha galat hi sochoge!
Q: What's difference between cricketers n condoms?
A: Cricketers drop the catches n condoms catch the drops!
70 yr old man: Doc meri age mein sex style kyo hona chahiye?
Doc: Doggy style.
Man: Aapke matlab peeche se…?
Doc: Nahin, sirf soongh aur chaat
Cricketer describing a nude girl:
There is no cover, there is no extra cover, there 2 silly points, 2 fine legs & a deep gully, with little grass on the pitch.
Kashti toofan se nikal sakti hai,
Taqdeer kisi bhi waqt bhi badal sakti hai,
Hausla rakh, channel na badal,
SANIA MIRZA kisi bhi waqt Jhuk sakti hai
Ek bahu saari raat paraaye mard ke saath sokar aayi lekin uski saas ne kuch nahin kaha, why?
Kyonki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi!!
Husband: Jee karta hai ki tumhari zulfon mein kho jaaon, tumhare aankhon mein bas jaaon, tumhari bahon mein jhool jaon.
Wife: Neeche kya mohalle wale ghusengey?
